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Maybe I'm up/down
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Up, down, up, down. 10 minutes ago I was fine, then I read something and started shaking with rage. Now I'm writing you because I don't know how to respond elsewhere. Breathe ego. Chill out id. It's just the vagus nerve making you uncomfortable. Responding in reaction mode is a good way to have to eat crow later.
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Up, down, up, down, up. I wrote a post about how the work I've been doing was in response to the pandemic before it was a pandemic. We wanted a different world before the world was forced to stop, so now seems like a good time to take big steps forward towards that open, cooperative future we keep talking about.
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Up, down, up, down. Then I watched Planet of the Humans, which I won't link to because it crashed me into despair. I was already in despair. I learned about the voluntary human extinction project.Then I saw 350s response to Planet of the Humans. I don't know what to believe anymore. I did some research and decided to donate monthly to offset.earth, which partners with non-profits all of the world to plant loads of trees. Use my link, if you donate, my trees will sparkle.
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Up, down, up, down, up. Made another insect hotel and then watched the bees come in and out. This activity is...calming. I imagine drawing while biking is calming too.
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Maybe I'm turned around
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When I don't struggle against myself, I'm productive and happy. I would bet Bill Murray has struggled against himself all his life too. Maybe he doesn't make plans for the same reason I try to avoid planning for the future. I don't know how I'm going to feel about something when the time comes.
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Maybe I need help?
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I need a weekend. This week was intense. Also, have you read all my books?
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