fbt

Maybe I'm up/down

tania-malrechauffe-DvIy9DbEZsc-unsplash
Photo by Tania Malréchauffé on Unsplash
Up, down, up, down. 10 minutes ago I was fine, then I read something and started shaking with rage. Now I'm writing you because I don't know how to respond elsewhere. Breathe ego. Chill out id. It's just the vagus nerve making you uncomfortable. Responding in reaction mode is a good way to have to eat crow later.

Up, down, up, down, up. I wrote a post about how the work I've been doing was in response to the pandemic before it was a pandemic. We wanted a different world before the world was forced to stop, so now seems like a good time to take big steps forward towards that open, cooperative future we keep talking about.

Up, down, up, down. Then I watched Planet of the Humans, which I won't link to because it crashed me into despair. I was already in despair. I learned about the voluntary human extinction project.Then I saw 350s response to Planet of the Humans. I don't know what to believe anymore. I did some research and decided to donate monthly to offset.earth, which partners with non-profits all of the world to plant loads of trees. Use my link, if you donate, my trees will sparkle.

Up, down, up, down, up. Made another insect hotel and then watched the bees come in and out. This activity is...calming. I imagine drawing while biking is calming too.

Maybe I'm turned around

p4-corona
Bryan's illustration for my Earth Day post
When I don't struggle against myself, I'm productive and happy. I would bet Bill Murray has struggled against himself all his life too. Maybe he doesn't make plans for the same reason I try to avoid planning for the future. I don't know how I'm going to feel about something when the time comes.

Other people try to say who we are, but other people don't know shit. They use words and phrases thinking they're being kind, but really, they're being irritating and offensive. Just seeing the people outside, I understand that I don't know anything either. Sometimes I talk to strangers, but I don't tell them who they are or what to do.

Maybe I need help?

I need a weekend. This week was intense. Also, have you read all my books?
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