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PATRONS!
I'm starting to wonder if I'm being a bit too radical on the whole isolation thing. I've been really serious about it, full on lock down mode. Yesterday I went to my (expensive) office for the first time in a month. I didn't come into contact with anyone. My office mates (two people) kept their distance, it was as if I'd not been gone. They were unconcerned.
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Perhaps it's because I'm American and thus internalizing both the US trauma and the EU trauma of this whole thing? I don't know.
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What about you? How are you doing?
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Maybe I'm a jellyfish
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The beginnings are always a hard part. Not "the" hard part, often there are other parts that are hard. A writer wants to start strong, but sometimes the story isn't particularly interesting at first. Sometimes an author needs to construct the world before they can toss the reader into the murky depths. Sometimes it's not the construction of a world, but just a tone. A slow, precise tone.
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I spent Monday as a jellyfish. I had the distinct feeling that my ambition, whatever my ambition actually is*, was crushed. I said "I never want to work again." I despaired about the state of everything.
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*In over a decade, I've used the word "ambition" only four times on my blog? Hm.
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On Tuesday, though, I woke up determined. Some of the work I'm doing at the moment is about helping public sector leaders permanently repair the cracks. Some of the work is about helping Greenpeace's Planet 4 walk the walk of being a fully fledged open project*. Some of the work is about helping to build a better future. It's the same work I've always done, and the pandemic has made it clear to millions that it isn't impossible.
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"Time and time again, she notes how social pressures facilitate inaction. Put simply: if we are around others, we base how we act on how they’re acting. Many of us might avoid speaking out for fear that we’ve misjudged a situation – after all, if it really was that bad, wouldn’t others be speaking up, too?" The Bystander Effect
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*By the way, if you've ever contributed to open source or a community project, would you mind filling out this quick survey?
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Maybe I'm devouring
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"Living a virtual life is an art. Like all arts, virtuality is neither consistent nor reliable. It takes a certain firmness of will, and a measure of inspiration, to get up each and every day and make up your existence from scratch, As every artist knows, every writer and homebound mother, if you are not careful, your day – without boundaries as it is – can just leak away. Sundown can find all your efforts puddled around you, everything underway, nothing accomplished."
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Years ago someone (who is reading this ( * ^ *) ノシ gave me the 1997 book Close to the Machine: Technophilia and its Discontents by Ellen Ullman. I'm devouring it. It is, without a doubt, a book that anyone who has ever said "I do internet stuff" should have already read. It's like it was written just for me, to be honest. I'm ashamed I haven't read it before.
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It landed on my shelf, which is where books go. All the books get read, it's just a matter of time. Maybe my ambition should be about books and not life...
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I haven't slept. But on Tuesday I plugged the leak and have managed to salvage my days this week. I think. I think I did ok.
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Maybe I need help?
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Actually, this newsletter isn't feeling very inspired lately. I'm not sure why I'm doing it. I need to clear space for writing. I should take it more seriously, don't you think? Like block days and actually use them for writing? I don't know. Not feeling it today.
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