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Maybe I'm a winner
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Photo from Red Hat EMEA Marketing team
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This week has been a fascinating fiesta of brain stuff. So what happened was, I was nominated and shortlisted for an award. The Women in IT: Digital Leader of the Year award. It looked like a big award, but two things:
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- A: the only thing I've ever won was a table top grill at a bingo night (not a great prize for a 7 year old).
- B: I have a distorted sense of self and sensitivity to rejection.
I've spent more than a little time soothing my broken brain in an effort to keep myself alive. I know what happens when I feel rejected, it happens all the time. Not the rejection, probably, but my perception of it.
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Because I'm an adult, and I know myself a bit, I took preventative actions. When I thought about the award, I convinced myself that it didn't mean anything. I told myself I would never win, that awards are stupid anyway. I spent ZERO mental energy on thinking I would win.
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Then I won. I was awarded the 2020 Women in IT Digital Leader of the Year award for my work bringing open principles to Greenpeace, my contributions to the intellectual establishment of those principles on Opensource.com, my work representing women in open source and whatever else the judges took away from my nomination.
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I'm honoured and overwhelmed. I haven't processed what it means exactly. Suffice to say, this has been a very good week indeed. I sincerely thank everyone who congratulated me thus far, who supported my work over the years. A warm thank you to the folks who nominated me in the first place. And thanks to you, dear readers.
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Maybe I'm enthused
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Winners also received hugs.
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I spent a far too short but also very long Thursday with my We Are Open Co-op colleagues. Our bi-yearly meetups are essential for the function and well being of the co-op, and I always leave feeling motivated, enthused and downright understood. I need to process my week a bit, and then I'll write some posts that are focused.
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Next week, I have agreed to ramble in English about open source, co-ops and my general career for some highschoolers at their annual Biligual Week in the forests of Thuringia. I have a million things to do, but first I desperately need a weekend of absolutely nothing.
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Maybe I need help?
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I'm dead tired and my feet were bloody, so I donated my only pair of heels to a thrift store and bought a different pair of flats to get me home. There's a good chance this was the last non-food article I purchase in pre-Brexit Britain. How was your week?
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