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Maybe I'm anxious
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I've been super busy at work, but don't wanna talk about work. Raise your hand if you felt extreme pressure to perform this week, all internal, leading to self-inflicted stress that morphed into crippling anxiety and then decided to manifest as a migraine:
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Ohai friends. At least this week I'm mostly causing my own pain. I saved some clickbait to help you with the meaning of life or whatever. Because it's not at all obvious that people live longer if they have a sense of purpose and meaning. Some of us, though, don't have time away from our various diagnoses to find purpose or meaning outside of "make it through another f*&#ing day". So, shut up, positive psychology, I have to worry about my brain deforming.
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"In the stressed subjects, the prefrontal cortex appeared thinner, the amygdala appeared thicker and the caudate nucleus was smaller."
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I remember laughing on September 11, 2001. I was in university and a woman ran into my class. I laughed because I thought it was a prank. She was acting, frazzled, wild haired. From the theater department. It was art school ffs. I didn't understand what she was screaming. I didn't realize it was real. She was shouting "We're under attack!" and then she turned on the TV. I'm not sure how long it took for the smile to fade.
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The "if I had only...." Or "if I hadn't..." is not the result of a healthy processing of tragedy. The people in this story are still grieving, almost 20 years later. They've not accepted what happened to them. They haven't made friends with it. Accepting that banality of chance helped me process my grief. It doesn't mean I've forgotten, just that my relationship with death, destruction and mayhem is more...fatalistic. Though I don't believe in fate or chance.
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How you ask? Read that again – my *relationship with death* is fatalistic, not my relationship with life.
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Maybe I'm scooping
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This weekends eco-assignment – Study Reuter's interactive graphic on plastic and then use the Zero Waste Map* to find your nearest "unverpackt" (package free) shop. Enjoy the old timey feeling of using a scoop to put coffee beans into a jar you brought from home. Commit to buying certain things at your eco-friendly shop from now own. Fantasize about owning a horse and wearing a bonnet.
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* Assignment remix – add your eco-friendly neighborhood businesses to the Zero Waste Map. It's a lovely resource. Or send me a better one...
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I might make the leap of faith on open hiring, but it would require much more information than this article has to give. By the time I'm a CEO, I'll have forgotten that I bookmarked this intellectual exercise for later.
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Oh, but also, remind me to make my IPO as corrupt sounding and convoluted as WeWork, I mean the We Company.
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Maybe I need help?
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Maybe Zombies should be paired...
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For the love of God, please read my book.
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Or, whatever, don't. But then maybe you want to show the creative writer in me that you encourage her and...
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