Maybe I'm surgical

that-s-her-business-KzeOMdcEswk-unsplash

EXACTLY. Photo by That's Her Business on Unsplash

This week I was surgical about my time. I planned my week with zero thought about what would happen to my brain if I squeezed it dry day after day. I had my brain on High Function Mode. There was no restful break or leisurely walk. There were no scheduled down time tasks. Thursday morning my brain was clawing up the side of a mind-gurney, and I had a full day of interacting with my charity cohort in front of me. I wondered if I would be able to pull down the (metaphorical) mask, put on my happy face. I wondered if the necrotic tissue that is my not-crippling-because-I'm-so-high-functioning-I-don't-allow-myself-to-have-crippling depression would darken the doorways of my full day.

Then I saw a single thread of spider silk shimmering in the perfect spring day that I got to miss. 21 degrees and sunshine after negative temperatures. Rain forecast for the weekend. I felt nothing about the spider silk. I went about my day. At the end of it, my brain collapsed onto its gurney. It's currently on a saline drip. I won't be doing much today.

I love to read about the brain, and this first article has some perfect metaphors. A jazz trio between world, body and brain. Shaking an etch-a-sketch to help mental health issues. We look at the world in dichotomies, but everything is a continuum. If we stop thinking of ourselves as only awake or asleep, what are we capable of?

How consciousness emerges from static > https://www.salon.com/2021/02/20/most-brain-activity-is-background-noise-cognitive-flux-consciousness-brain-activity-research/
Scientists break through the wall of sleep to the untapped world of dreams > https://beta.nsf.gov/science-matters/scientists-break-through-wall-sleep-untapped-world-dreams

Maybe I'm incredulous

Dunno about the book, just found the Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

"Femtech" exists as a term because dudes are still the default. Vagina vagina vagina. Labia. Vulva. It's 2021. I mean really, it's 2021. Public perception of gender continues to follow antiquated stereotypes, and I'm like "Seriously? It's actually, like, 2021."

Femtech players call out Facebook for rejecting women's health ads > https://www.mobihealthnews.com/news/femtech-players-call-out-facebook-rejecting-womens-health-ads
What can charity digital learn from the femtech revolution? > https://www.thecatalyst.org.uk/blog/what-can-charity-digital-learn-from-the-femtech-revolution
Failing Britney Spears: It shouldn’t have taken ten years to realize the discourse about her had been a hurtful, unhealthy constant. > https://www.vulture.com/article/essay-britney-spears-discourse-pop-history.html
I Tracked Down The Girls Who Bullied Me As A Kid. Here’s What They Had To Say. > https://www.huffpost.com/entry/middle-high-school-bully-depression_n_602c0800c5b65259c4e52240

Maybe I need help?

I'm sucked dry. I just need to putz around and not put any sort of expectations on myself for a few days. I need to learn how to avoid the exhaustion in the first place. What about you? Where's your brain at lately? Are we ever going to get out of this whole lockdown thing? I'm tired of the pandemic...

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