fbt

Maybe I'm magical

rafting
cc-by-nc Bryan Mathers
At the beginning of the week I saved a post about "Moon Trees" to share with you. I thought it was going to be a magical week. It wasn't a bad week, but "magical" is something else. Then again, it snowed so much that the sky blends together with the roof tops and if the sun comes out, even for a moment, the world sparkles incandescently.

People are making time to play in the snow, but I haven't been one of them. I didn't find time for much this week, other than absolutely dumping all my brain energy into the Catalyst project I'm leading on. I love the project, and I'm also terrified of it. Big, impactful projects are what I do. You'd think after all these years, I'd be chill about this.

The thing is, there's so many people to let down. What if our ambitions don't match our talents? We do, ahem, tend to think we're better than average. Illusory Superiority. Except sometimes...

"Traits which people tend to underestimate include juggling ability, the ability to ride a unicycle, the odds of living past 100..." Wikipedia page on Worse than Average effect.

Maybe I'm updating

income-increase
you can play with Gapminder too
I've been reading Factfulness, a book that was, until very recently, just part of my anti-library. I bought it when it came out, and was trying to use it to update my world view. The TL;DR on this book is basically that if we look at the state of the world in the context of human history, we're doing better than ever before. There's lots of data. The book is looking at infant mortality, life expectancy, etc – using UN data sources. A friend said this week, "Great we're doing good over the course of centuries, but ffs have you seen the last few years?" Yeah😕 even our progress looks like regression.

This worldview exercise is part of my ongoing burnout battle. Two years ago my body started to say no. As much as I've learned since then, I'm still not very good at coping with stress. I'm still poor at saving energy for myself. I'm still poor at saying no, asking for help or realizing that most things that stress me out or cause anxiety don't really matter. Maybe I use up more energy than most just trying to appear...not completely friggin nuts?

Maybe I need help?

I hit a wall mid-week. Couldn't move, so I play the Oatmeal's new game start to almost finished. I'm pretty sure the last level on story mode is impossible. I also lost a good thirty minutes when I stumbled upon this image search engine that finds pictures with the Same Energy.
So. That's it for the week, but FYI I haven't heard from you in a while. You can hit reply, nudge me in the internet, text me. Call me. 867-5309....come to think of it, was that song early Doxxing? Those lyrics...wow. There's a lot of disturbing stuff in the world when you, like, pay attention.

That's it, I'm going to play in the snow.
kofi1
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