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Maybe I'm livid
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I've not been well this week, brain stuff. You know how it is. Ups and downs. On Monday I was not motivated at all, but neither was anyone else AFAIK (judging from more than one persons saying/typing something along the lines of "I'm here, but I feel like I've been hit by a train...") I'm trying to be happy that the morons who invaded the Capitol are being charged, but schadenfreude isn't one of my strong suits. What I see is past the insurrectionists and on to a mess of people, so disconnected from themselves and the world, they are unable to *think*. And I am so envious.
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Wouldn't it be nice to just not think? To have the lack of self awareness required to blindly follow? To be so dumb that you actually break into a federal building without hiding your identity and then demand organic food in prison? Wouldn't it be nice to not have to think about how fundamentally shameful it all is? But I am thinking. I'm intellectualizing and trying to pen a post associating moral perspectives and truth. I can't seem to pull it together though. Probably because in my heart of hearts I still can't understand how the extreme right is able to justify their stupidity.
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Maybe I'm a techie
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On a lighter note, as a technologist, I find the tech related aspects of the last week absolutely hil-fucking-arious. The discussion about "censorship" when a private company boots you off their platform had me ROTFL. People apparently have no idea what censorship means (but luckily xkcd has a comic for everything). The lack of intellectual acuity around corporate tech and their actual reasoning (e.g. they're just political opportunists) for finally banning of T****. And the Parler thing, OMG did I have a good laugh and a head shake. There's so much activist work to be done in tech. So much.
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My last public appearance of 2020 was sitting on a panel with some execs from IBM and Red Hat moderated by a university professor. We were talking about "How Software Companies are Driving Tech for Social Good", and I was asked to represent the cooperative and non-profit perspectives. The moderator kept poking me and in the end I felt like a weird, ranty leftie radical. I am not going to relive it by watching this, but if you give it a looksie, let me know if I went off the rails or if my indignant "don't be so corporate" attitude was articulate and grounded.
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Maybe I need help?
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I'm trying to be more consistent with finding space for input and then using that input to compress and express. Unfortunately, I'm running into problems pulling my ideas together. My lack of motivation is bleeding into my work work and my creative work. I'm pushing myself along, but it's difficult at the moment. Maybe I just need some more coffee.
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Special thanks to those of you who take the time to reach out, say hello, offer assistance and otherwise encourage me to keep going. It means a lot.
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