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Maybe I'm traumatized

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Demeter Goddess of Harvest by 5th graders by Rylie Ray and Mikaela Sweet. Demeter mourns her daughter Persephone for 6 months while Persephone stays in the underworld. Her grief is our autumn and winter. Or so said the Greeks.
Look, January is a Death Month. That's all it is. A traumatic and stupid Death Month. 7 years ago it became a Death Month and it's been a Death Month ever since. This year, we're already at the two with a third prophesied for later in the year. Deaths come in threes, you see. They told me that. Two have died in my extended circle. Already. In January.

No condolences are necessary. Not for me. My sadness for these people affected by Death Month 2022 is what it is. I am not stoney or cold, I'm just so marred with a deep understanding. I know what parts of grief are mine and which belong to other people. I sat with all of that instead of writing to you last week.
Now it is February, so we don't have to worry about the seeping, bubbling stain of January anymore. My emotional spectrum this week is a bit of a roller coaster, and I'm at the top so let's enjoy it while it lasts.

Maybe I'm powerful

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Goddess Kali, posted at Wikimedia Commons by Piyal Kundu (পিয়াল কুণ্ডু) under a Creative Commons License.
This week, I published a quick post asking people to join our upcoming Keep Badges Weird community call and had some chats with people who want to use badges to wield power. Power could be an interesting driver, but it's generally not. Most of the time it is status and ego based, a fully boring contemplation of power. However, in some cases, power seeking can be 100% flimflam and jiggery pokery. A means to an end. Social and cooperative. I find this a fascinating consideration of power (and a funny one). In the end, power is a cruel joke to those who understand how utterly powerless we all are in the universe. However, even those of us who understand such things have a responsibility to question the dynamics of power in society and to reframe it.

Maybe I need help?

I used to HAVE to make art. I used to HAVE to write. I used to HAVE to try. I hated the drive that made me so emotionally attached to my own existence. I found it painful. Like seeing yourself represented poorly or remembering literally every face you've ever seen. Without it, though, it's been "Productivity Dysmorphia" all the way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Most important note in this newsletter: I changed my email address. It's [email protected] now. It's been an alias on this newsletter for forever. Hit reply OR open your email programme and type it in. Zythepsary will shutter someday.
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