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Maybe I'm conditioned
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This week was a drag for me. I don't feel like I did enough. I don't feel like I moved anything. I felt physically ill, and my brain didn't want to play along. I am downswinging a lot. Something about the weather, I guess.
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Objectively, of course, I did do some stuff. I sent a friend a bunch of Google Map links to wild camping places in Sweden. I helped a charity find a digital cooperative that had capacity for a rather niche type of gig. I processed feedback on the Open Leadership Definition work. I sent an offer to a new client. I finished reading another book.
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Maybe I'm conscious
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I was needing a good read on panpsychism as I have been talking to *things* a lot lately. Maybe my anthropomorphic body is not so far off from reality. I started thinking more specifically about this concept after reading the excellent book, Braiding Sweetgrass. The book talks about how Indigenous belief systems ascribe spirit* to all things from nature. It described the rituals for the taking of natural life. While a chair no longer has this living essence, a tree does. It is asked for sacrifice, not forced to die for human consumption. If you are wondering what that means, I recommend the book. Its stories on the traditional collective mindset tie quite nicely to the sort of attitude we need in our everyday lives.
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*There's a difference between "Panpyschism" and "Animism", one ascribes "consciousness" the other "spirit". There's a lot of woo woo around the word "panpyschism", and I don't want to conflate all the things, but ffs y'all...
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Anyway, panpsychism underscores a scientific reality of the collective world, some kind of consciousness/connection, while pointing out that the quantitative mathematical language of science tends to disregard the qualitative objective reality of life.
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"Consciousness involves quality - the redness of a red experience, the smell of coffee, the taste of mint..."
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One of my BFFs stood in the snow barefoot when we were 18. I asked her why and she said she was trying to train her body and brain to tolerate cold. I remember raising my eyebrows and thinking she was nuts. She is nuts, to be fair, but she was also way ahead of me in the whole "I'm interested in mind control, but not that kind of mind control" thing.
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Maybe I need help?
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Almost certainly, but I'm not sure I believe it's out there.
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