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[FBT] on Play and Purity

Maybe I’m hypernormalised

For years, I hinted to my family and friends that all I really wanted for my birthday (any birthday!) was a choreographed group dance routine. I showed them videos of the time flash mobs were all the craze. I explained Fox trot parties to them. I did the hokey pokey by myself without roller skates on. I have shared Plan B soooo many times.  Still, I didn’t receive said gift. I would say that I wasn’t explicit enough, but I definitely was. The words “I want you to choreograph a dance routine for me” came out of my mouth multiple times, on multiple occasions. No one has organised the dance routine for me. I’m not entirely sure why, but my guess is that it’s more my role in life to take seriously all that is so very unserious.

It’s not that my people aren’t absolutely bananas, they definitely are in all the weird ways that humans can be. Recently I suggested starting a “Boy Band” that is, well, gender neutral. My people aren’t having that either (“I just don’t want to be in a band at this point in my life,” which is fair enough). I forgot and then remembered that my “Nazi in Wheelchair” album has been partially recorded (FBT links below where I mention this album). Alas, I am just the writer, not a musician*.

Silliness is so important. My personal storm clouds cause big shadows. Sometimes my silly is away for weeks at a time. It feels like it’s been away a lot lately. I’m catastrophising and dooming and spending a lot of time staring off into the distance and trying to convince my lizard brain that it’s a little bit  hypernormalisation, but that I’m ok, we’re ok, it’s all ok.

“The recipe for your life should be this: rest until you feel like playing, then play until you feel like resting, and then repeat.” Martha Beck

So I guess I need endless rest because the play is so sporadic, so few and far between, so short-lived. Play at this moment in history feels like a betrayal. Everything so serious, so serious. I haven’t been playing or building or creating or even learning. I’ve been sitting, watching, waiting, doomscrolling. Utterly lost in my own self pity, I’ve been what some of my friends and family call “Noping”. Here’s a picture of it that hangs on my fridge:

Noping in the summer doesn’t feel right. Now is not the time to Nope. Now is the time to see all the beautiful things in the world. I saw a bumblebee sleeping in a flower!  Nothing matters, everything matters. Lord what a glorious world.

Maybe I’m Part 2

If you can’t explain to me why you think my sea shanties aren’t technically music, then you’re going to have to get off my lawn. Clearly lyrical quality is an important part of music as is rhythm, so while I wouldn’t identify as a musician per say, I’d certainly argue that I’m more of a musician than someone who hasn’t written sea shanties. TWO OF THEM. I’m more of a lot of things than someone who hasn’t done the things.

I’ve done the Meyers Briggs a couple times and even though personality tests are notoriously ridiculous, my type says I like to argue. A lot. Devil’s Advocate for no freaking reason. Sometimes I see my Self and cannot understand why it is still arguing when we genuinely do not give a toss. Despite the low importance of my recent debate with an actual musician about the intrinsic qualities of a “musician” and whether or not I could call myself one, purism is important to argue against.

from Fox Crow

I argue with purists as both part of my nature and because purists often insist that others not only understand their inclination for a particular kind of purity, but also agree with it. You know the granola crunching, barefoot and annoying vegan stereotype? That’s not about being vegan, it’s about being a purist vegan. The AI slinging tech bro? That’s not about being a tech bro, it’s about mindlessly pushing a technology that clearly has massive ecological, social and cultural implications. Stereotypes often call up purist notions. Looking at the actual definition of “purist”:

purist : a person who adheres strictly and often excessively to a tradition
especially : one preoccupied with the purity of a language and its protection from the use of foreign or altered forms Merriam Webster

So “grammar nazis” are also purist, and I’m, perhaps, stretching the definition way too far. Perhaps one of the synonyms, like fanatic or stickler, things I don’t think any of us want to be called regularly, would have been better to use. 

Anyway, I guess the point is, you can follow your own moral, ethical and philosophical pathways without insisting others acquiesce to your perspectives. You should, however, have some morals, ethics and personal philosophies that you can articulate.

If you just say “I don’t care” all the time, then you might want to turn your brain back on and ask it “Really?”

Maybe I need help

I was recently (and accidentally) in a Stasi prison. Along a hallway there was a timeline of the fall of East Germany. I was reminded, and would like to remind you, that little by little the ripples of individual action can topple entire authoritarian systems. 

How are you? Hit reply.

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